As I walk into the doors I see waiting chairs and nurses everywhere, I walk through the long hallways, then I come to the room. As I turn to walk in the room I hear the faint beeping of the heart monitor. The first thing I see is my grandpa, not only my grandpa but him with tubes everywhere, the most noticeable one is the large one that was in his mouth. It was worse then I thought it was going to be. He couldn't breath on his own anymore. The first thing I thought of was, here comes goodbye.
He was slowly slipping away, and all I could think about was how we would never laugh together, or ride around in his big tractor together. I could just picture us sitting on a horse together when I was little, and I wouldn't have anything to hold onto so with my little fingers I would squeeze onto his arms and trust that he wouldn't let me fall. Whenever I did, he was always there to catch me...no matter what he was always there to save me.
I have said goodbye to Grandpa. I said those words, because it seemed like not saying them would be my attempt to deny the reality, the reality that he was leaving. I didn't want to say goodbye, because goodbye means going away, but this time is was for good. It was hard to find the right words, because no words could ease the pain. No words could hide the sorrow of saying goodbye. Some goodbyes can be good because it is just for a little while, but this one was forever.
